Aggression and Young Children

Hitting, kicking, biting and other aggressive behaviours can be very upsetting for a parent. However, these behaviours are very common for young children.

Why are young children aggressive?

By nature, toddlers and preschoolers tend to be very physical and full of energy. The following characteristics of children this age help explain why they behave this way:

  • Toddlers tend to be impulsive. Three year olds usually understand that actions such as hitting or biting hurts, but they have a lot of difficulty controlling the impulse to strike out. It takes time for children to learn impulse control.
  • Younger children do not have the verbal skills to deal with all situations. Often they communicate through their physical actions rather than through words.
  • Toddlers tend to be self-centered with little ability to care for others.
  • Often in their second year, children develop the drive to be more independent. They may become very frustrated when they cannot control their environments, as they would like.
  • At this age, children are trying to test their new powers. They may use aggression as a way of making themselves feel as powerful as possible.
  • Children need to learn what is socially acceptable and what is not. They need to learn how to deal with social situations in less physical ways than brute force.
  • Young children are great imitators. When they see other people behaving in physical ways, they may imitate them.

What parents can do?

  • Supervise young children. Recognize when they have reached their limit for coping.
  • Teach children that physical force is not acceptable.
  • Reward good behaviour.
  • Teach children ways to deal with their emotions, such as using words.
  • Involve children in active play to help use their energy in a positive way.
  • Plan time for your child to unwind. Know your child’s limitations.
  • Help your child by organizing their environment so it’s easier for them to manage independently.
  • Model nonphysical ways to manage strong emotion. Children live what they learn.
  • Look for things that may be affecting your child’s behaviour, such as significant changes in their lives.
  • Consult your child’s physician if his/her behaviour does not improve. They may be able to help.

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff. Save discipline for the more serious behaviours or issues. Growing up can be tough!

For more information, call Ottawa Public Health at 613-580-6744 / TTY: 613-580-9656
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